Stan Gable


The 20 Worst Places to Wake Up Saturday (or Sunday) Morning

I came across the following list at NextRound.net and found it pretty funny.  Mostly because I, or someone I know, have woken up in half of the situations (or a slight variation thereof) described.

  • Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.
  • The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.
  • Spooning some random dude.
  • In a bath tub covered in blood.
  • The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.
  • The back seat of a stranger’s car.
  • In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.
  • On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.
  • Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.
  • Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.
  • The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.
  • Your parents’ kitchen floor.
  • Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.
  • The front lawn of the local synagogue.
  • Cleveland.
  • Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.
  • The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.
  • The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.
  • The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.
  • On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.
Share this post with other Alpha Betas:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • Google
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

No comments yet. Be the first.

Leave a reply