Stan Gable Has Great Hair

The above picture is of Whitney Port, the “star” of MTV’s new series The City.  The show chronicles Whitney’s move from Los Angeles to New York to take a PR job at Diane Von Furstenberg (DVF).  After a few episodes, this show has major potential.  (While many better pics of Whitney exist, I put this one up because I think she stole here bikini from the set of the Nuva Ring commercial.)  On to a character analysis:

Whitney:  Incredibly hot, and despite her sometimes airy demeanor, I think she’s smarter than she seems.  As Mr. Lax 10 pointed out, her “stressful” apartment hunt was a joke.  She had a broker, moved into the first place she saw, is in an awesome area of town, is in a new building, and has at least a full one bedroom on the 30th floor.  Even if her salary from DVF were tax-free and it was all spent on rent, she would still not be able to afford that place.

Jay:  Should I just cash in my chips?  This guy’s hair is incredible and his accent doesn’t hurt either.  If I ever meet Whitney, I don’t even think I should bother bringing my A-Game.  Meanwhile, MTV resorted to their Laguna Beach bag of tricks and had Jay shoot hoops in jeans while talking to his friend about girls.  Who doesn’t like playing basketball in jeans - and while wearing wayfarers?

Olivia:  Huge liar already and incredible bitch.  But she is also a 10 out of 10 on the hotness scale.  I mean there is absolutely no room for improvement.  Supposedly she was family friends with Manolo Blahnik yet the designer did not seem to recognize her.  And he had the same dialect as the aliens in Galaxy Quest.

Nevan:  Olivia’s cousin and a 0 of 10 on the coolness scale.  This guy is about as cool as vegetable lasagna.  And supposedly he was arrested in the past for prostitution and offering payment in the form of drugs.  Nice.

Erin:  Whitney’s friend.  There’s really not much to her at this point, except it’s funny she took her boyfriend on a quiet date to Brass Monkey which is the biggest frat bar in that area of town.  A portion of the Stan Gable launch party was there, and we got kicked out for rocking too hard to Tiffany. Erin ordered a martini on her date - I didn’t even know they served those.  Our friend Tank Jr. ordered “a case of beer” and was promptly served.

Adam:  Jay’s friend and male model.  When Jay got into a bar confrontation with some other guy vying for Whitney’s affection, Adam dropped the timeless line “Don’t come over here and threaten my bro, dude!”  There is nothing as classic as backing up your boy.